Welcome!  Please come in.  Have you come to hear your fortune?  Please take a seat across from me, place $100 on the table, and prepare to have Zoltrotter the Great reveal the secrets of the universe to you!

Does the letter “L” mean anything to you?  I am getting…L….Lun….Lunch!  Yes, lunch!  You will eat a lunch.  It will consist of food, and possibly a beverage.  The beverage will be moist, and somewhat refreshing.

Now…I am getting a clear vision of your summer.  I am hearing a voice, it is telling me that you will do stuff this summer.  Oh, such wonderful stuff!  And there is more, the voice is also telling me you will do things!  This is very exciting.  Your summer will be full of stuff and things! 

Finally, I feel that you are unhappy.  I can hear your soul being crushed, and your aura is a dark gray.  Is it your job?  Yes, I believe your job is slowly crushing your will to live.  Fear not otter blogger, for you will be able to throw off the shackles of your servitude in exactly 92 days!  You can then pursue your life of leisure and drunkenness as God intended.  Huzzah!!