April 29, 2010
Welcome!  Please come in.  Have you come to hear your fortune?  Please take a seat across from me, place $100 on the table, and prepare to have Zoltrotter the Great reveal the secrets of the universe to you! Does the letter “L” mean anything to you?  I am getting…L….Lun….Lunch!  Yes, lunch!  You will eat a lunch.  It will consist of food, and possibly a beverage.  The beverage will be moist, and somewhat refreshing. Now…I am getting a clear vision of your summer.  I am hearing a voice, it is telling me that you will do stuff this summer.  Oh, such wonderful stuff!  And there is more, the voice is also telling me you will do things!  This is very exciting.  Your summer will be full of stuff and things!  Finally, I feel that you are unhappy.  I can hear your soul being crushed, and your aura is a dark gray.  Is it your job?  Yes, I believe your job is slowly crushing your will to live.  Fear not otter blogger, for you will be able to throw off the shackles of your servitude in exactly 92 days!  You can then pursue your life of leisure and drunkenness as God intended.  Huzzah!!

Welcome!  Please come in.  Have you come to hear your fortune?  Please take a seat across from me, place $100 on the table, and prepare to have Zoltrotter the Great reveal the secrets of the universe to you!

Does the letter “L” mean anything to you?  I am getting…L….Lun….Lunch!  Yes, lunch!  You will eat a lunch.  It will consist of food, and possibly a beverage.  The beverage will be moist, and somewhat refreshing.

Now…I am getting a clear vision of your summer.  I am hearing a voice, it is telling me that you will do stuff this summer.  Oh, such wonderful stuff!  And there is more, the voice is also telling me you will do things!  This is very exciting.  Your summer will be full of stuff and things! 

Finally, I feel that you are unhappy.  I can hear your soul being crushed, and your aura is a dark gray.  Is it your job?  Yes, I believe your job is slowly crushing your will to live.  Fear not otter blogger, for you will be able to throw off the shackles of your servitude in exactly 92 days!  You can then pursue your life of leisure and drunkenness as God intended.  Huzzah!!

10:26am  |   URL: http://youotterreadthisblog.tumblr.com/post/558600547/welcome-please-come-in-have-you-come-to-hear
(No. OF NOTES: 2)
  
FILED UNDER: Funemployment! Yay! If Miss Cleo were an otter 
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March 31, 2010
GPOYAAUOW – Gratuitous Picture of Yourself as an Unemployed Otter Wednesday. As previously mentioned, this summer I will be joining the ranks of the unemployed.  This otter represents my plans for the break.  My days shall consist of one part not wearing a shirt, one part wearing jorts, and fourteen parts of PBR.  While you cube jockeys are anxiously preparing cost value analysis reports for your middle managers, I will be wallowing in my own crapulence. Closed circuit to potential future employers, please disregard this.  I would never actually wear Oakleys. Original otter via

GPOYAAUOW – Gratuitous Picture of Yourself as an Unemployed Otter Wednesday.

As previously mentioned, this summer I will be joining the ranks of the unemployed.  This otter represents my plans for the break.  My days shall consist of one part not wearing a shirt, one part wearing jorts, and fourteen parts of PBR.  While you cube jockeys are anxiously preparing cost value analysis reports for your middle managers, I will be wallowing in my own crapulence.

Closed circuit to potential future employers, please disregard this.  I would never actually wear Oakleys.

Original otter via

10:41am  |   URL: http://youotterreadthisblog.tumblr.com/post/486844431/gpoyaauow-gratuitous-picture-of-yourself-as-an
(No. OF NOTES: 1)
  
FILED UNDER: Chill otter is chill Funemployment! Yay! GPOYW 
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February 24, 2010
Seeing as my employment got the axe yesterday, I thought I would make it the theme of today’s otter.  Here is Marie Antoinette Otter getting the life axe, literally.  What is there to say about Marie?  I guess she was kind of a dick, who mostly worried about her clothes and hair, and was completely oblivious to anything happening beyond the walls of Versailles.  Essentially, she was a pre-revolutionary Anna Nicole Smith.  Did she deserve to die?  Probably not, but who am I to second-guess the 18th century French legal system? Original otter via 

Seeing as my employment got the axe yesterday, I thought I would make it the theme of today’s otter.  Here is Marie Antoinette Otter getting the life axe, literally. 

What is there to say about Marie?  I guess she was kind of a dick, who mostly worried about her clothes and hair, and was completely oblivious to anything happening beyond the walls of Versailles.  Essentially, she was a pre-revolutionary Anna Nicole Smith.  Did she deserve to die?  Probably not, but who am I to second-guess the 18th century French legal system?

Original otter via 

11:10am  |   URL: http://youotterreadthisblog.tumblr.com/post/409319986/seeing-as-my-employment-got-the-axe-yesterday-i
(No. OF NOTES: 1)
  
FILED UNDER: I can has cake? Marie Antoinette Funemployment! Yay! 
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