This is Pope Otterus IX, and he is the CEO of the world’s largest
lolrape factory church! No, but seriously, this guy has a tough job. First, he reports directly to God. If you think your boss is tough, try having to sit in meetings with God all day. The guy is a total know-it-all, and a complete egomaniac. Then, once he gets out of his daily meetings, he needs to set the ground rules for his one billion followers. It is just simple stuff like, thou shalt not bang kids if thou aren’t an employee of the church…or thou shalt not bone those kids while wearing a condom. Finally, once that is all done, he has to figure out a nice way to tell everyone that they are going directly to hell for all eternity. It is a thankless job, but Pope Otterus IX knows that he is the only thing standing between gay marriage and the collapse of Western Civilization. You’re welcome world!
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